🔗 Share this article

One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?